I was in church this past Sunday and the preacher talked about God's wrath in Canaan. He talked about the huge genocide that occurred and possible reasons why it happened. One of the ones he mentioned was because he didn't want Israel to be defiled by the people of the land and turn from the one true God. And I have to say it caught me by surprise. It surprised me because it was so radical, and the view of God and Christianity that I find myself slipping into often is one that is very diluted.
When Jesus calls people to follow him, he doesn't say to keep living the life you are leading and just fit church in the schedule. A life of discipleship is so much more than that. To be a disciple of Christ means giving up an old life in exchange for a new one. It means completely changing your mindset and turning off your old perspective to find one that is more like Christ's. Following Christ isn't a past-time or a club that goes into the interest section of your life. It has to be the defining theme of your life.
I forget that sometimes. I think I can just focus my life on God without actually changing my lifestyle or my values. But Jesus has to be the number one priority in my life. It can't be family and Christ, careers and Christ, friends and Christ; my life has to be about Christ. Period. So that means if there is something in my life that is keeping me from a pure and devoted relationship with God, I have to cut it out of my life. It must be banished from my lifestyle and never looked back upon. Jesus talks about cutting off my hand if it causes me to sin. What about cutting TV out of my day, because what you put into your mind makes it unclean. The eyes are the lamp of the body, so I can't say that I am no affected my the sensual, violent, lewd and irreverent themes that so often come on the channel. If my life were all about Christ, and seeking after a pure relationship with him, would I cut TV out of my life? A man must deny even his family and take up his cross, right? And then movies should be called into question. A good friend of mine and I have had many talks about movies that use God's name in vain. I should have total respect for the name of God, and in the Bible God put to death an entire race of people because they might dilute the faith of the Israelites. So, should I stop watching movies that might dilute the name of God in my mind? And is it justifiable to say that it doesn't really affect me when someone says "Oh my God" in a movie and instead of being shocked that they misused the name of my Sovereign Lord, I shrug and call it entertainment?
Quite honestly I don't know. But I think that I should never stop questioning the things in my life, and that I should seriously evaluate how they affect my relationship with God. I can't ignore everything that goes on around me and the culture that permeates my life. I have to accept that the things in my environment will affect my spiritual walk. It is part of being a human/spirit hybrid: fleshy body with a soul. I do know that I want to live my life as a disciple for God and that such a walk does not come naturally. If ever I am comfortable and content with where I am at, I should probably question why I am not feeling the trials of the world that are spoken of in the Bible. Walking in Jesus' footsteps requires passion, a passion for him and for his Father. What does it take to live life righteously? Well, I am trying to figure that out.
This past week, my old youth minister came to my college for a couple days. One of the things he wanted to do was to jump off a huge cliff, into the water below. I remembered him talking about the thrill of doing this when he was younger, so I went with him wanting to share in this crazy experience. This cliff was at least 50 feet high, and he just got on the cliff and jumped. What seemed like a few minutes later, he finally hit the water. After that it was my turn. As I climbed out on the ledge to jump, I realized the insanity of what I was about to do. I was about to leap off a perfectly good piece of rock into the air, with only a promise that it was well worth the terror. For at least 15 minutes I stood there and tried to jump, realizing that the longer I stood there, the more I started to rationalize why I should not jump. So, before I could talk myself out of it, I asked God to forgive all my sins I ever did and jumped. I don't actually remember jumping, but the next thing I knew I was in the air and it was the most incredible experience as I fell into freezing water.
I think living a bold life for God is like that. You're standing on the ledge about to jump into the crazy life He calls you to live, doing things you never would have thought you would do. It doesn't make sense to leave the stable, undemanding life you have always known and fling yourself into the air, except that there is the promise of something better if you do. It doesn't make sense why people would give up things like girl or boyfriends, family ties, luxuries of life, solid careers, or an entire day to spend with God, unless God promises something better if they do. The writer of Hebrews says to cast off everything that hinders us from running after God. I know I need to take a good look at my life and see what I need to cast off to pursue God. I know that it might be terrifying to see what He wants me to give up, that it might not make sense, and that the longer I wait to do it, the more I will talk myself out it. But I think that if I can have the courage to just jump, I will discover so much more about living life passionately.
"I do believe;
help me overcome my unbelief."
