Dreams

When I was a kid, I wanted to grow up to be a superhero. Or maybe a knight. I wanted to be able to go around saving and protecting people from evil. Later on I wanted to be like one of those Christians you might hear about who do covert operations in foreign countries, slipping past guarded borders as I smuggle Bibles into places where God is opposed. I did not think I would be able to impact the whole world, just the few I came into contact with. As I grew up, rather as I grow up, I find myself thinking more and more about getting a real job. I think about how I will support a family one day and what I need to do to get there. Do well in school, go to college, meet the right people. There's really nothing wrong with not wanting to be a superhero, but I lose more than that. I become more complacent as I just try to make it through each day and forget about how I can revolutionize the world, if only for a few people. I forget how to dream big dreams for my future. And as I do, I start to trade in my dreams for the "American Dream".

When I say dreams, I'm not talking about when people shirk responsibility to become a movie star or leave their spouse and kids to find their "true" love. I mean when people can imagine a better life for themselves and a better life for others. Like those doctors who go to foreign countries to work for the world's poorest or missionaries who seek to take God's Word where people have never seen a Bible. I know many people who have great ideas and hopes for their lives, even for their next year, but they don't act on them. When you ask them what their dreams are, they will weave amazing stories about what they can do. But they keep their dreams tucked away in the corners of their minds, like glass mosaics in a basement. After retreats or sermons, people feel convicted to spend more time each day seeking after God and the enriching life He has. But instead of spending time discovering more about our loving Creator, they turn on the TV or the computer. I know because I am one of those people. And I have to wonder, why do we fill our heads with all the ways we can lead a more fulfilling life, and then do nothing about it? I think it's because the dreams are too hard, or they don't pay much, or they don't hold any glory, or they require too much of ourselves. I think we're scared sometimes.

I look at people like David, a kid probably no older than me, dreaming he could take down Goliath, a guy who probably could eat people bigger than me. Where other people saw a killing machine, he saw a dead man walking. I think God also has dreams, because He sees who people are at the moment, and dreams big dreams for them. He can see me and know that even though I make a lot of stupid mistakes, I have potential to do great things for Him. God was willing to bet His son's life on the fact that humans have the ability to become better. Jesus said "I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father". I have a hard time believing that sometimes. I can't see the person in the mirror and dream big dreams for that person. I see what I have done in the past and what I want to do in the future to keep my life moderately comfortable. It's like I stuff my life into a box and just hold onto it, and God wants to rip my life out and chuck the box away.

So now the question is: if I can actually stop, for one day, being complacent and let myself imagine what life could be like, what would I do? What crazy ideas would God tell me? He once told a guy to marry a prostitute. He told someone else to build an ocean liner in the middle of a country. What might He tell me? I would like to think that if He told me to do something, that I would drop everything and do it. If He told me I could experience real life, deep life in Him, and that it would just take trust and perserverance, would I listen? Adam and Eve didn't, the Pharisees didn't, Judas didn't, Jonah didn't (the first time).

I pray that I can let myself dream, that I won't put limits on the plans God has for me, and that I would be brave enough to make them reality.